Skip to main content

Listening vs Hearing

Don't you just love the expression "I hear you"?

In my view, it's often used in conversations where the listener has already made up his/her mind, but knows that it will be easier if you think you have been given their full attention!

On the other side, though, there are people who believe that just because they express an opinion or an idea, not actioning it, means they have not been heard.

Another of those really difficult situations to manage.

People in leadership positions (including parents) need to listen and hear what is being said, and try to understand the motivation behind what they are being told.

How many times have you heard about children who, without appearing to study, get through school easily. Its often because they really listen in class and understand the material at source. 


*

Active listening includes ensuring that the message is fully grasped.   Ian Mann, in his book Managing with Intent, writes that it is the communicator's responsibility to confirm that there is clarity.   In management, that is true, but it is also true that managers need to dig a little more deeply when they are being given information.

It is also a good idea to create a listening space ie away from a desk and other distractions.

My best listening is away from my computer or other electronic devices!

Practically, there are people who take a long time to share a thought, and sometimes repeat the same thought in a slightly different way.   Many of us tend to get impatient.    This is particularly challenging in a meeting, where a group of people are being delayed by a detailed speaker.   Managing very wordy, woolly conversations as the listener is a skill.   It takes practice and patience.   However, there are times when meetings have to be ended, with a promise to take the matter forward in a smaller group or at a point when there is time to allow the full story to unfold.

I have learned the lesson that if you give people the gift of your attention, you will be pleasantly surprised at what they share with you, and the growth opportunities for both of you.

If you ever watched the TV show, Frasier, about a radio psychiatrist, you will know he started his show with the words "I'm listening".

Sometimes, that's all we need to do, and people will know that they have been heard.



Links, References and Notes

email:      tschroenn@accsys.co.za
twitter:   @TerylSchroenn


Note

Thank you for reading Teryl@Work.   Should you wish to use any of the material, please acknowledge this blog as the source

Popular posts from this blog

3 things to do BEFORE you resign

or sign a new contract…
1.Confirm your notice period ·A lot of companies allow 30 days from date of resignation, but many ask for a calendar month
2.Check your restraints ·If you are joining a competitor ·If you are joining a client
3.Find out when your last payment will be transferred ·Companies have been burned by paying over on the 25th, and people not returning, so they may delay payment transfer until the last official working day, or even the first day of the following month.  You may need to make special arrangements regarding debit orders ….
Both your current company and your new one deserve to be fairly treated.   Knowledge of the policies makes this possible.
Even if the policies don’t make sense to you, you agreed to them when you signed your contract.
HR managers will tell you how many great working relationships are damaged because people don’t follow policy when resigning. It’s worth taking the time for many good reasons.  Building a solid career can depend just as much on how you …

Favourite Words

Shambolic – it simply sounds better to me than chaotic.. Do lots of people have favourite words or just a few of us nerds? As everybody is starting to think holidays (or maybe you prefer to vacation), it seemed a good time for a different type of blog. Have you noticed how many words with pleasant associations sound more attractive than those that describe the negative. Watching a TV quiz show the other night made me wonder. The contestant hated bulbous and gusset! There have always been some words that appeal to me, triskaidekaphobia being one. I now know that I had the meaning wrong! I thought it meant fear of Friday the 13th, but it is simply a fear of the number 13, so how does paraskevidekatriaphobia grab you? That is the real word for fear of Friday the 13th. Love it! Now I prefer rural to bucolic, but Robert Beard (see below) selected the latter as one of his favourites. Effervescent is a gorgeous word, so descriptive and onomatopoeic while ethereal makes me think of gossamer and fairie…

Resignation - keep building relationships

Resignation – avoid burning those bridges It has been a great pleasure working with a colleague like you. Now, you are off to your next big challenge! Good luck and farewell!
Isn’t that what we all want to hear when we leave?  We were appreciated and we will be missed.
The need for all parties to maintain professional conduct in the event of resignation is critical, particularly now when we are working within an unsettled socio-economic climate. Employees should avoid damaging relationships, and employers need to adopt a neutral approach and ensure that there are policies and processes that enable the separation to be objectively handled.  For example: ·A formal resignation letter is required·A formal acceptance of resignation is issued confirming any special conditions·An exit interview takes place·Handovers are planned and executed
Our HR team advise those who resign their position to adhere to a few golden rules. Failure to do so could harm whatever bonds have been formed at the workpla…