Skip to main content

Workplace Bullying

Bullying remains a very emotive issue.  I have a few friends who openly admit that they were bullies at school, and that they didn't mean any real harm, and were "just teasing".   Comments that people overreact, and that the victims often bring it on themselves are also made.   It is a reality that the bullied person's reaction can lead to further bullying, or their lack of reaction can move the bullies to a new target.   These former self styled bullies have grown up into nice people who are really fun to be with.   Who would have thought?

But the people I know who were bullied have not grown up nearly as undamaged.  In fact, it is my unscientific opinion, that bullies grow up to be happier and more successful than the bullied, because their sense of self is more entitled.  (Other than in the entertainment industry, where almost all of them claim that they were misfits and excluded from everything.....)

Moving from the classroom to the boardroom, what is bullying at work?

There are so many different, and subtle, ways of making people feel less than valued, that sometimes the bullied person simply feels more and more inadequate at the job, without realising that they are, in fact, being bullied.

How regularly do we hear "Everything I do is wrong!"  and it seems to be true.   There is often the perception that the bullies are senior people with power, or men who sexually harass women, another type of bullying.  

But there is the other side, too.   There are employees who use passive/aggressive behaviour, constantly making small mistakes or not checking their work, so that their line manager never feels safe using their input without double and triple checking etc.   This can impact on the relationship, making the line manager less patient, and it becomes a negative circle, where the employee feels undervalued, blames the manager for making him nervous, the manager becomes harsher in his criticism, and so it goes on.  Is there a bully in this pairing, or are they simply incompatible work partners?

Power shifts happen in relationships, and sometimes it is the person in the less formally influential or powerful role who is the bully.

The wonderful (in my opinion) Ellen de Generes finishes each show with the words "Be kind to one another" and bullying is very much the opposite of that.  During the next few weeks, I will try to unpack what is bullying, what it isn't and how do we introduce more kindness into the workplace, without sacrificing productivity, growth and effective business practice.


References & Links

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

3 things to do BEFORE you resign

or sign a new contract… 1.         Confirm your notice period ·          A lot of companies allow 30 days from date of resignation, but many ask for a calendar month 2.        Check your restraints ·          If you are joining a competitor ·          If you are joining a client 3.        Find out when your last payment will be transferred ·          Companies have been burned by paying over on the 25 th , and people not returning, so they may delay payment transfer until the last official working day, or even the first day of the following month.  You may need to make special arrangements regarding debit orders …. Both your current company and your new one deserve to be fairly treated.   Knowledge of ...

When did having it all become doing it all?

Or being all things to all people… Ruth Bader Ginsburg , U.S. Supreme Court Justice: “You can’t have it all at once. Over my lifespan, I think I have had it all. But in different periods of time, things were rough.” As a mother, a wife and a business woman, I have thought a great deal about this.    My article about #OutsideWork generated some personal mail that asked me, inter alia: “How?” “What do I need to do to satisfy everybody that needs my full attention when I am with them?”  My children, my boss, my partner – they all need me to be the best that I can be, and I am barely keeping my head above water.” “I don’t want to be selfish, but there is no time for me.” And a poignant comment: “This article made me remember that there must be time for “self” but I am not finding it.  I am mentally and emotionally exhausted and nobody seems to care” There is no one answer.  It’s different for those in a committed partnership, compared to sing...

Employment Tax Incentive Bill (ETI) - Q & A (3)

The last part of the article on ETI, and we are still waiting for some finalisation, which I will post when I receive it. How does an employer deal with part pay periods? The incentive must be pro-rated to match the calculation of remuneration.  For example, if an employee starts on the 15 th of the month, and earns R2000 in the first month with the company: His remuneration must be grossed up to R4000 per month The ETI on this value calculated (R1000 in the first 12 qualifying months of employment) This results in a R500 ETI for the employer on this employee for this month Does it run for 24 Months from Date of Employment? Confirmation of this is required, but it appears that the Employer may claim for each employee for up to 24 months, even if they are not consecutive (ETI qualifying months, not months of employment) What happens if an employee leaves the organisation? Assuming all other qualifying factors are in place The next employer can start ...