I am one of
the elite who is chosen to always sit in front of the chair kicker at the
movies. It is a great privilege that I
don’t take lightly.
I start by subtly
turning my head to see if there is really somebody behind me, because it is
possible that the row of seats is a little unstable.
If there is,
I hope that it’s just a once off settling in bump. Sadly, by the third or fourth kick in the
first ten minutes, the movie is no longer my main focus. My husband is often kind enough to swap
seats. Now can he just not feel it, or
do they stop kicking when they are facing the back of the head of a 6’3” man?
It happens on
planes, too, and even in a financial reporting session recently. My personal favourite is the person who is
only able to stand up from his plane seat by leaning heavily on the back of
mine, tilting me backwards while he raises himself into a standing position. Sitting is an equally challenging process
which requires both hands on the back of my seat, a sharp pull backwards and
then a quick release.
Just to
confirm, the seat does bounce!
I love both
the movies and travelling, though I prefer the back row for obvious
reasons.
While on the
subject of travelling, don’t you love the people who subtly edge into the side
of the queue to board, particularly when there is a bus taking you to the
plane? Why? Do they simply think that queuing is beneath
them? Or do they not notice the rest of
us poor slobs following the rules?
Then there
are the queue controllers. Oh, they are
a powerful lot. If you have ever
travelled to the US, and had to go through the customs there, they have the
highly effective snake queues in place.
And what do the controllers do?
They override them, and send you to wait in little queues in front of
each customs officer. This means you
can be at the front of the snake and still have to wait a long time, depending
on which little queue they allocate you to.
Why?
Snake queues work – ask anybody who shop at Woolies.
Snake queues reduce that little discussed, but
very common malady – queue querulousness.
(A close relation of road rage, it mostly manifests itself in muttered
comments, and complaints to management).
So to all
those chair kickers out there, if you see somebody gently turning their head to
check if there is somebody behind them, tuck your feet under your chair. And queue jumpers, do remember that getting
there first doesn’t always mean you are ahead of the game, you might just be the
crash test dummy….
Links and References
email:
tschroenn@accsys.co.za
twitter: @TerylSchroenn
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